Loving many.

Polyamory

Poly- what? Polygamy? 

NO! PolyAMORY. 

polyamory, n.

The fact of having simultaneous close romantic relationships with two or more other individuals, viewed as an alternative to monogamy, esp. in regard to matters of sexual fidelity; the custom or practice of engaging in multiple romantic relationships with the knowledge and consent of all partners concerned (Oxford English Dictionary, 2006).

I have been spending the past few months getting information about polyamory, watching documentaries, talking to polyamorous people, going to polyamorous meetings and more, because I feel that living polyamorous could be something that would suit me. Before I tell you why I think this might be something for me, I want to tell you some more about polyamory. 

The word polyamory is Greek and Latin and can be translated as “many loves” (poly means many + amor means love). "A polyamorous person is someone who has or is open to having more than one romantic relationship at a time, with the knowledge and consent of all their partners. A polyamorous relationship is a romantic relationship where the people in the relationship agree that it’s okay for everyone to be open to or have other romantic partners" (https://www.morethantwo.com/polyamory.html). With polyamory the focus isn't usually on the sexual side but on deep emotional level. Being poly doesn't mean that you are cheating because everyone involved knows about and agrees to everyone else’s involvement.

(cf. https://www.morethantwo.com/polyamory.html)

Many people think that a person who has more than one love can’t give their whole heart to the people involved. They think that if you love one person, you are able to express your love wholeheartedly, but if you love more people, your love has to be divided up and is therefore less (strong). This is based on the “starvation model” of love. It says that you’ve only got a limited amount of love - so if you fall in love with another person, you have to withdraw the love from the first person. Of course that is not really true, because love is not the same thing as money. With money, yes, you have only a limited amount to spend, and when you give it to one person you have less left to give to another, but love is obviously different. When you love more than one person, you realize that the more love you give, the more you have to give. (cf. https://www.morethantwo.com/polyamory.html)

There is so much more to learn about polyamory, but this was a basic introduction. Please inform yourself further in the world wide web!

And here’s why I think I might be poly or poly-interested. Could you be, too?

I’ve always fallen in love quickly. I’ve always been interested in more than one person at the same time. Even while being in a serious monogamous relationship I have felt like I wanted to date other people, too and this wasn't at all just about sexual things but rather because I was so interested in these people. I have a lot of love to give and I think there are so many special and wonderful people I'd like to get to know in this world and I'd like to have more than "friends-feelings" with. Although I'm not sure If I can imagine sharing my lover (and being happy with that) because of my jealousy, it still is a wonderful imagination to me...because of the jealousy and some other things in my mind, I am starting to look into "Serial Monogamy",too, which I just tripped over this evening. It's not like I am "looking into" it, it’s more that I can imagine that what I have been doing actually might be something that Serial Monogamists do - I’ve just never had a word for it (wow, the word „serial“ makes it seem so scary and bad. It makes me immediately think of serial killers). Serial Monogamy is "the practice of having a number of long-term romantic or sexual partners in succession" (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/serial+monogamy). I will probably post about that soon, too. 

Below are just some old diary entries I've found that might either hint to "Polyamorous Love" or "Serial Mongamy" or even fears of commitment or relationships. Important: Polyamory has nothing to do with fears of commitment because you are basically commiting a lot and to more than one person. Serial Monogamy on the other hand can have something to do with fears, too, because you can’t handle very long-term-based relationships and don’t want to become too commited.

"I dont understand myself. Every day there is a new woman who I fantasize about or fancy... there are at least 6 already I think about all the time... [...] I dont understand myself... how can it be that so many women stir my blood? Im in love with all of these women... "

"I dont know what I feel and for whom I feel. I cant distinguish between love, being in love or liking someone."

"Oh my, dear diary, you have to save me. Im running from one to the next story without having an aim. Dates and love affairs but never a normal relationship. It's enough to drive one to despair."

 

Main Source: https://www.morethantwo.com/polyamory.html